HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
