We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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