worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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