i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
