he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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