I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
