Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
