Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
