we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
