Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
