she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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