can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
