this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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