i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
