Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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