I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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