Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
