we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
