I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
