Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
