Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
