No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
