I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
