i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
