Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
