bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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