that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
