...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
