i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
