omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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