The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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