I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
