worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im holly from the hills drunk
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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