You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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