Where is the hickey?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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