You smell like stripper and shame
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
