i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
