I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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