Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
