everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
