In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
