Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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