I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
