He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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