what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize