Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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