Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
