well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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