He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
