oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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